Increasing the size of your family is one of the biggest life changing decisions anyone takes. Deciding to increase the size of your family when you already have a child with special needs, in our case nonverbal autism is an epic decision. We already live in a challenging world, a world of unknowns but bringing another baby into the world was delving into the biggest unknown we have ever faced.
Whilst the future is uncertain and welcoming a second child with his own health conditions has been at times completely overwhelming, one thing that is a clear certain is the benefit our 7 month old baby has had on our 4 year old autistic son. For the benefit of this I am going to narrow it down to just 5 key reasons.
1. THEY BOTH ADORE EACH OTHER:
Gotta be honest, this wasn’t clear from the get go and the day we brought a baby home our four year old took hostage in his room and refused to come downstairs. Uh oh, what have we done!? It has been a slow burner but it is obvious the adoration for each other and their bond gets stronger all the time. How do we know? Their eyes follow each other around the room and their faces light up in each others presence. The baby has to come everywhere with us and has his own personal protective bodyguard if anyone else wants to coo over him.
2. BABY BROTHERS HAVE SUPER POWERS:
Bumped your head? Snuggling into the baby will make you feel better. Can’t figure out how to rewind your favourite singing parts on TV? Pass the baby the remote and he has it covered. Something broken? Hand the baby your toy screwdriver and broken toy and he will fix it in no time. Sneakily took some crisps out of the drawer without Mum and Dad knowing? Give the baby the packet and he will open them for you. Obviously we know that a seven month old can’t do these things but it is utterly adorable the way the four year old thinks he can do just about anything.
3. SHARING IS CARING:
Sharing things is something that doesn’t come easily for our autistic boy. He is protective of his toys and trying to persuade him to give you one of his raisins etc is almost certainly a no go. Yet, he will do all of this with his little bro, he actively shares without needing to ask. I imagine this will change once he is mobile and wanting all of his toys! Sharing activities like dancing is the best and source of lots of laughter and all around happiness.
4. RECOGNISING EMOTIONS IS BECOMING EASIER:
A typical autistic trait is not being able to read emotions. Our four year old really struggles to differentiate between all emotions, often finding people crying absolutely hysterical. However, he is starting to recognize when the baby is grizzly and will often just go and sit with him and stroke him. He will get him his dummy if he cries and he definitely seems to recognize the happy gummy smiles and squeals. If he is recognizing these emotions in him, then hopefully he will pick up others emotions and body language too.
5. THE FUTURE IS EXCITING:
In our experience having a baby has had such a positive impact on our four year old and we are so excited to watch their bond grow as they both get older, with mobility and first words looming it will be interesting to see if these have any impact on his progress.
There we have it. We have an absolute zero pressure policy on their relationship and will go with the flow with how the future pans out. We celebrate the tiniest of achievements and we don’t dwell on the imperfections. We might not be your typical family but it’s so true that love needs no words.